gaysettledown

I should explain where I hang out.  A little neighborhood gay bar opened up about three years ago, literally right around the corner from where I live. I found it by accident one night while walking.  It’s a strange little place that I have become a regular in. Very mixed crowd. You get everything from actually old men, the men in their fifties and sixties who still think it’s 1980, guys my age, and of course the much younger crowd. The younger crowd consist of twinks, the twenty two year olds who couple up with the first gay man they meet and are constantly fighting because one or the other is looking at someone else(maybe you would spend less time in a bar…) and of course the young men who think they are gods gift to us all and are doing us a favor by stopping in and having a $12 cocktail, and giving everyone a dirty look. A dirty look I am only too happy to return.

The bartenders are great, they really look out for you and some of them have become great friends over the years. It’s not a fancy place. Sometimes they have shows, they have videos, jukebox, patio, cookouts. All the basics.

So for future reference I will call this the bar.

Last night I stopped at the bar. It had been awhile since I was there on a Tuesday night and wanted to get out of the house for a bit. I was surprised by how many people were out at 9:30 on a “school” night, but it was pretty busy. I said hello to everyone I knew, you know the usual chit chat, playful talk, and then I found a seat at the bar and soaked it all it.  We have a saying about the bar, that’s it more of a hang out bar, than a hook up bar. But if we are really being honest with ourselves, and you are single and looking, don’t you always wonder who might be in there for you when you walk up to the front door? Whether you are looking for a night of sex, a quick hook up in the men’s room, or the man of your dreams, the possibility crosses your mind that he might be in there on that night.

Maybe that is just my thinking, just the way my brain works. But I kind of doubt that.

I started looking at people, going from person to person and judging. I know that’s no way to go about life, and it sure as hell is no way to find the “one”.  But I think it’s human nature to judge to some degree. Now I don’t mean judging and sharing, just in your head, keeping it to yourself.

Some of them were friends, no interest there beyond the friendship. One guy was good looking until he drank with his pinkie in the air and bent over to pick up his napkin like he was wearing high heels and a skirt.  One very hot guy came in, got a beer, drank half of it and bolted before anyone could talk to him. Still in the closet? Did not know it was a gay bar? Saw nothing on the menu he wanted to order? Who knows.

So I spent the next hour and half talking to people I already know, enjoying the conversation, having a few laughs and then heading home. No closer to settling down than I was when I woke up that morning.

I think over the next few weeks I will try some new places, see who I meet, what I run into. Is it the same everywhere? Will I be the guy who comes in and drinks half his drink and runs away? Will I make more friends? Get asked on a date? Find someone I want to ask out? Only time will tell.

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