gaysettledown

The the title says, nothing will make me run from you fast than you trying to make me feel guilty. It just wont work.

Yesterday I made a much needed and wanted trip to see a friend of mine. I’ve mentioned him briefly on here. The visit was a success, however it did take up my entire day. As we were sitting down to lunch yesterday, I had a text message from the new guy asking if he could see me tonight after bowling. Now this aggravated me because I had told him I would be out of town on Thursday. So I responded with a no I was out of town, pointing out I had no idea what time I would be getting back into the city. I also said I was at lunch and that I would contact him the next day.  Then I turned my phone off. I was there with my best friend who I had not seen since August, no need to be sitting there on the phone.

The rest of the afternoon was well spent and then I headed home for the 4 hour drive. I had forgotten I had turned my phone off, and about half way home I needed to make a call and saw that I had messages. Guilt messages.

They were a wide range of messages. Everything thing from I don’t care what time it is when you get home, I still want to see you, to it not being fair that I had not responded to his messages, and why are you ignoring me.

First of all I care what time it is when I get home. Why on earth do you think I would be up for going out after I have been driving all over the state for most of the day. And to be honest I was whipped when I got home. Between traffic and snow storms, I managed to take a shower and little else. I made it clear what I was doing, so I can hardly be accused of ignoring you. And you know what, sometimes life is not fair. I don’t find it all that fair that I thought I met a nice guy who while I am not interested romantically, I could at least be friends with. That’s not fair.

I was really trying to not have a hurtful conversation with him, but clearly I need to lay this out for him. Honestly, I never expected all this from him. This needy stuff, this attention seeking control junk.

It makes me want to stay in this weekend and hide. But we all know that is not the answer, it never is. So maybe I will call him tonight, maybe he will call me. I was so disgusted with the messages yesterday I did not return any of them.

Moving forward, we’ll see what the weekend brings

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